So we meet again, the monster inside my head. I’d love to slay you, but I can’t seem to live without you. I hate how much you make me self conscious, I hate how much you make me hate and despise myself, but most of all I hate you for making me want to suffer. When did you appear? Did all of a sudden you decide, “hmm she seem’s to have a good head on her shoulders, and I need a place to stay” and then chose me? I am crying out for help, because I’m myself’s worst enemy. I’ve harmed myself more ways than one and I don’t think I’m finished yet. Why aren’t I suffering enough for you? It’s like you won’t stop until I’m dead. Ha, I sound so crazy right now.. but this is what I deal with every day. I deal with this monster my mind created to make sure I’m never happy. I know I sound needy, I sound pathetic, and I’m sounding like I’m just seeking attention; but you have no idea. I want to be dead, I want to be free from this crazy second personality no one else sees. When I’m alone, I sit here in pure darkness and think of everything that’s wrong from head to toe. I really don’t want to hurt anymore, I don’t want to be a prisoner to my own body. But no one will help me, they just insist I die. This is my breaking point, I mean no one loves me.. why get back up and try again? I’m sorry I’m ranting, and I’m sorry I’m so depressed, but I’m trying to get over whatever this is, I just don’t know how much more I can take.
